When is Change Needed?

Questions I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. When is change needed? What needs to change? How do I get there?

Is it anxiety, is it depression, or is it both? Is it common social expectations of what one should have, should be, should be doing with their lives that makes me asks these questions?

Every now and then I get into a rut of feeling unaccomplished, unsatisfied, and just plain unhappy and trying to find an answer as to why can be extremely frustrating. I do have wonderful things in my life; a beautiful wife and an adorable daughter, both of which I am very proud of. They are what keep me balanced, keep me sane. I’ve had someone tell me that I should do more for myself and since I’ve heard that I realize that I have put myself at the bottom of my priorities list.

The problem is I don’t know how? When I do things for myself, even if it’s as simple as walking to clear my head, I feel bad because I should be doing something else, and the something else isn’t something for me. I find myself to be a very selfless person which shouldn’t be a bad thing (to be selfless) unless it’s at a point where you feel distant with who you truly are. So after so long of me putting everyone else’s needs, wants and wishes before my own I feel as if I subconsciously resent myself for how I treat myself and my deteriorating self esteem.

Maybe I need a new job, maybe I need a new house, maybe I need to live in a different part of the country or maybe something as simple as buying a new Queen or King sized bed would solve my problem. In any case at least I can rely on my wife and daughter for balance, sanity and sobriety. Also, I believe that I am headed in the right direction because I can admit to having a problem and admit that I need to change...for the better.

I hope that this doesn’t come off as me crying “Poor Me! Boo hoo hoo!” but more of a check point to evaluate what you do for yourself, and how you treat yourself.

Coming up next post....Upcoming NHL Season! Stay tuned